En välttämättä ole ilmaissut selkeästi, että olemme eronneet Tyypin kanssa kolmisen viikkoa sitten (kuten edellisen postauksen Tatu mainitsi). Emme ole soitelleet kuin pari kertaa ja vain asiasta (Tuletko hoitamaan koiraa? Heippa. Tuotko tavaroita? Heippa.) Olemme nähneet pikaisesti kahdesti, tällä viikolla yritimme siis selvitellä asioita. Haluaisin kertoa hänelle aivan kaiken. Ilman mitään valkoisia valheita. Hän ei suostu vastaamaan edes puhelimeen. Kai hän on siihen oikeutettukin.
En sen enempää ruodi nyt tässä kaikkea tapahtunutta, jätän sen toiseen kertaan. Olin lenkillä ja lenkin lopussa soittimestani kuului Lana Del Reyn kappale Dark Paradise. En ollut aiemmin kuunnellut sanoja, mutta nyt pysähdyin. Pääsin kotiin ja kuuntelin kappaleen uudestaan. Ja uudestaan. Ja uudestaan. Ja uudestaan. Aivan kamala ikävä ja kaipuu ja kaikki se rakkaus vyöryi ylitseni. Itkin. Kunnolla. Räkä poskella. Miksi. Miksi typerä, paska alkoholi pilaa kaiken?! (Ja juuri kun sain tämän kirjoitettua Tyypin veli katsoi asiakseen ilmoittaa, että Tyyppi oli lauantaina (ilmeisestikin ryyppyreissulla) hävinnyt jonnekin, veli kun sunnuntaina oli yritellyt tavoittaa ja kyseli minulta Tyypin työnumeroa. Kiitti, meni sekin ikävä sitten siinä, mihinkäs Tyyppi olis tapojaan muuttanut.)
All my friends tell me I should move
on
I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song
Ahhh, that's how you sang it
Loving you forever, can't be wrong
Even though you're not here, won't move on
Ahhh, that's how we played it
And there's no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
All my friends ask me why I stay strong
Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on
Ahhh, that's why I stay here
And there's no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
But that there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
There's no relief, I see you in my sleep
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I'm fine
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
But that there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song
Ahhh, that's how you sang it
Loving you forever, can't be wrong
Even though you're not here, won't move on
Ahhh, that's how we played it
And there's no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
All my friends ask me why I stay strong
Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on
Ahhh, that's why I stay here
And there's no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
But that there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
There's no relief, I see you in my sleep
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I'm fine
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
But that there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
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